by Jennifer Strickland
Do you struggle with sexual purity? Maybe you wonder if it's even important. Or maybe you've had sexual experiences and feel ashamed and blamed. You might even consider yourself a "bad" girl when it comes to sex, thinking there's no way to start over. Maybe you consider yourself one of the "good" girls. Do you think you won't be tempted into sexual sin? Do you think you know it all about guys, dating, and sex? Whether you're a "bad" girl or a "good" girl (and you know there's really no "good" and "bad" when it comes to girls anyway!), you may be surprised to see that you're buying into some of the myths. Read on to discover 5 truths that will help you pursue passion with purity.
Myth #1: Sex is Bad, and Only Bad Girls Want Sex
Truth #1: Sex is Good, and Good Girls Want Sex
Let‘s make one thing clear: sex is not bad, and the desire for sex is not bad. In fact, sex can be the most delicious and delightful experience two people can have together. The desire for sex is normal, healthy, and good. In marriage, this desire develops a beautiful bond between two people. Like two magnets, sex bonds a husband and wife into spiritual, emotional, and physical oneness. That bond is so strong that they can face and fight the fiercest storms of life as one. In a great marriage, sex is a salve that heals our wounded hearts. Sex a way to accept one another in all our faults. Sex is a symbol of forgiveness, grace, and love.
Myth #2: I Am Stuck with the Sin of My Shame
Truth #2: You Are Welcome in God's Kingdom, No Matter Where You've Been
“For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame” (Hebrews 12:2 niv). One sacrifice for all sin, for all humankind. That sin includes your sexual sin. Your abortion, your promiscuity, your sexual immorality, your disease, your robbery, your failure to provide, your failure to protect, and the ways you damaged another‘s property—their heart and their body. Christ took the punishment for you. You can now stop blaming yourself and everyone else. You can choose to learn from your mistakes. You can be honest about your pain. You can pursue healing and freedom like it‘s a race you have to win.
Myth #3: If I Lock My Secrets Away, I Will be Okay
Truth #3: Walking in the Light Fills You with Light
Hiding your hurt is the worst thing you can do. It is better to talk about it, to put it in the light. Allowing God to shine His light into your dark places is the beginning of being set free from them. His light will shine in the far corners of the cave within you and illuminate the ugly—lighting up the operations taking place in your life that are detrimental to you now. Maybe you were a victim once, but that doesn’t mean you need to remain a victim your whole life. God can give you victory over sin and victory over your past.
Myth #4: It’s My Body, and I Get to Choose
Truth #4: It's Not Your Body, but You Do Get to Choose
The culture‘s lie is: “It‘s my body, and what I do with it is my business!” But the truth is: It‘s God‘s body; He made it, and He bought it for a price on the cross. Therefore, we are to honor God with our bodies. Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, the place His glory dwells. So it‘s not your body. But you do get to choose how you live in it. And your choices don‘t just affect you. They affect your family and those who love you. Ultimately, they will affect your future. So choose wisely.
Myth #5: Singleness is Waiting for Marriage
Truth #5: Both Singleness and Marriage Can Be Awesome
Singleness can be a gift, just as marriage can be a gift. It is not just a time of waiting for marriage—it is the “now” of your life, and you can make the most of it! Mary Magdalene, who followed Jesus to the cross and cried at His tomb, was single—and it was her singleness that allowed her this experience. Singleness is highly valued in scripture because it allows people a single-minded service to God without the distractions of family life.
If you do hope to get married, this is a great time in your life—what time is better?—to take good stock of the interior qualities that make a woman beautiful. Study the Word, surround yourself with good friends, and serve. Have fun while you are single, and do the most with the time you have!
by Jennifer Strickland
(taken from 21 Myths (Even Good) Girls Believe About Sex with permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.)
For even more myths, check out 21 Myths (Even Good) Girls Believe About Sex,
a brand-new book for teen and college-age girls by Jennifer Strickland.
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21 Myths (Even Good) Girls Believe About Sex